What. The. Actual. Fuck. Is. My. Life.
Cannot, REFUSE to ever look at or use post it notes ever again. EVER AGAIN.
The writer’s style is just… Urgh. My dumb words can’t even begin to describe how poetic, sensuous, elegiac and just down right beautiful it was. Every line was fucking classic, the way she uses words omg, too many examples, you have to read the damn thing to understand. It’s like she’s painting in my head and I’m not even being sarcastic. I fricking LOVED that repetition of them being in the elevator, with the first time having Kai smirking at KS when he said ‘do you’ and the second time with him pleaing. AND OMG ‘It makes him look older than it seems, almost sadly so’ vs. ‘it makes him look younger than it seems, almost sadly so.’ was PERFECT, perfect with the context and perfect perfect reflection of KS’ monotonous life and how to him, nothing really changes expect for those little emotional things he notices in Kai.
I started fucking leaking like crazy when Kai said ‘I only have two things in this world, dancing and you’, such a cheesy line but peeeerrrrf timing and I just couldn’t hold it together. The second time was when he said ‘How much I want to stay like this’ when KS asked him ‘What are you thinking right now?’ Everything’s just so effing SAD. It’s like they need each other because they’re all so broken but you know that it was short live. Like two lines intersecting but you know they’ll just break apart again right from the start. KS is sadder in my opinion because he has NO LIFE and all those memories just slipping between his fingers. In the end when he was just sitting on that balcony with SO MANY FUCKING MEMORIES and he’s just absolutely clueless. Felt so sorry for the poor poor soul a huge chunk of his life is literally missing and he doesn’t even sense it. Not even knowing the sad ending when he holds the book. I love this line: ‘It’s something inexplicably warm, light, transient. A little like fireflies. The kind of something that lingers just long enough in his palms to disappear by the time he learns to want. The kind of something that tells him this has happened before, and that next time, too, they’ll fly away. Slip between his fingers like fleeting memories.’ It’s just so realistic but written in the utmost fantastical way. Too amazing. This is only one quote out of hundreds that I loved. Tbh every line was a quote that I love. I could stroll through it and stop at a random place and it’ll be my fav line.
The Hunhan addition was satisfyingly short and neat, the line about preparing to be broken if you’re gonna help fix people is so damn true. I always wonder why Kaisoo fics always have so much deep emotion and are so full of angst. Kai is forever that based, cynical, masochistic, lethargic type of person who loves to experiment and inflict pain upon himself in order to cover up/forget a painful memory. And why Kyungsoo is always that character who lives with adherence to routine, life all planned out and dull, but he’s just getting on with his life. The pathetic puppy while Kai is always the wild one. Why? It fucking breaks my heart. Which is why I’m glad Kaisoo live the real lives they have now bc… Feels.
But whatever, this is a fantastic read, was almost too realistic I had to close half an eye when skimming over the steamy bits haha. Well I can never look at Kaisoo without heart shattering sadness in my eyes ever again from now on. Cars and post it notes, what next. What next people.
I leave you with ‘My name is Jongin. I’m the writer who lives next door. See you tomorrow, hyung. Don’t forget!’ and several buckets of my tears.